There are so many things we go through in life. While most of them teach us a great deal, there are things we do that are of no benefit, or perhaps even harmful, to us. As I have become older, and hopefully a little wiser, there are many things I have decided to remove from my life. The added bonus is that it leaves space for me to add in a few more that I love! š
Dwelling on the Past or Thinking About the Future
When I was younger, I often worried about what had happened or what might happen. Now I live in the present. It is truly life changing! Obviously, I could never have changed past events; I just had to accept them, hopefully learn a little from them, and move on. As regards to the future? Who knows if there will be a future for us and how long it might last.
Now I focus on today. I start each day always grateful for what I have, and think about the things that I can add to my day to make it enjoyable. I try not to plan much as I love being able to just do whatever I feel in the moment. It sort of makes each day like a mini adventure. š
Of course, there are always things which may not be pleasantā¦ going to the dentist, sitting in traffic, cleaning the house, but I try to āput a spinā on it and get something positive from it. For example, after a visit to the dentist I might buy myself a bunch of flowers or reward myself with a nice cup of tea in the garden when the house is clean. They are only little things, but sometimes it is the small things that bring us joy.
I Donāt Automatically Say Yes
I really enjoy doing things for others and making them happy. But within that I forgot to care about myself and think about my own needs and wants. Now I am able to say ānoā if I choose; something I would have found almost impossible a decade ago.
Before giving an automatic answer, I silently count to 10, allowing myself time to consider. Of course, if I am able to help, I will, but not to my own detriment. A simple, āThank you for thinking of me, but I canāt at the momentā seems to work well. I try to be clear, concise and not waffle. Generally, if I am totally honest, people understand.
Hold on to Negativity
When I was younger, I would hold on to negative thoughts and beliefs, often from childhood. The teacher who said I was a dreamer and would get nowhere, the boyfriend who left me for someone prettier, the boss who said I didnāt deserve a raise. Of course they hurt at the time, but how ridiculous to be holding on to them decades later!
Letting go of negativity is so uplifting. Often the person who made you feel that way didnāt mean what you thought or has completely forgotten about it. But there you are, decades later, thinking you canāt have a dream, youāre not pretty enough and you are lazy. Itās time to chuck it out! š
What is wonderful is that every time you get rid of something negative, you leave a little space to fill it with something positive. I am a dreamerā¦ but it helps me write. I may not be the prettiest girl in the worldā¦ but I am very pretty on the inside. Who needs a boss? I work for myself and pay me what I deserve!
Buy Things I Donāt Really Need
As I have become older, I realized the value of doing, rather than having. Consequently, I rarely buy much, especially new. My little cottage is filled with things, loved by others, and now me. I bought them for a fraction of the price. I wear many of my clothes I bought years ago and try to have things that cross the seasons, preferring to layer up rather than change my summer wardrobe to a winter one.
Not buying things that may swiftly find their way to the back of the cupboard leaves money for doing thingsā¦ I can buy a new sofa, or have a holiday, a new dress or a visit to the theatre. I care much more about having fun and making memories!
Also read, Spending Thoughts: Do You Prefer to Have, Or to Do?
Worry
For many years, I seemed to worry about everything. Whether people liked me, how I looked, what I should and shouldnāt do, etc. Now I just focus on being me. It is so liberating and a fabulous feeling. It is something I really wish I had known earlier and would have saved me a huge amount of timeā¦ and pain.
We are not on this beautiful earth for very long, so I have decided to spend the rest of my time being happy. I think that is the best present I have ever given myself. š
Discussion Questions:
Are there things you no longer do now that you are older? What are they? Do you find it liberating? Do you worry less now?
