Words can lift people up; but, just as equally, they can hurt. Sometimes, we might not even realize that the things we say to others are perhaps less than appropriate. That can be especially true when we make gender-specific comments, maybe even more so when they’re directed towards women.
After all, the general public seems to think that women have it a bit worse than men at the moment. A recent survey by King’s College London revealed that 48% of people in the UK think that it’s harder to be a woman than a man today, while 14% say the opposite.
And the comments under a recent thread by netizen @rombesk might reflect just that. When the user posted the question “Name something people say to women without realizing it’s offensive?” on Threads, almost three thousand women came prepared with answers. Scroll down and see what women are sick of hearing from strangers and people they know alike.
When a young woman says she doesn’t want to have children and the immediate response is, “you’ll change your mind.”
Started my new job a few weeks ago alongside another trainee who was a male. During training our lead asked us, “Have you guys ever purchased car parts?”
*looks at me* “You probably haven’t right?”
*looks at male trainee* “You probably have.”
???????????
Male boss referring to staff of women made up of specialists and licensed professionals ‘the girls’. A woman wouldn’t walk into a boardroom of men and address them as boys.
You cut your hair so short! What does your husband say about it?
Nothing. It’s not his hair. It’s my hair.
“Would you get drunk for me at least once time?” “I really want to see you drunk” “I bet you’d be really fun drunk” – I have never drunk alcohol in my life yet men say this to me all the time
When people call me “young lady” I’m fifty years old. When you say that you’re just pointing out that I’m not in fact a young lady.
I always have to remind my husband not to say to my teen daughter: wow i guess you were hungry! When she finishes all of her dinner
Guy made me so mad once I ran out of words and to my great annoyance began to cry. Totally thrillled, he tried to wrap his arms around me and said, “see? What I love about women is their fragility.” I was thinking sir I would urge you to scoot for the door before I get any more ‘fragile’
While in Home Depot, I was picking out lumber for a project I drafted. I knew what I needed. Every 4 minutes a male staff member would ask if I needed help, or where my husband was at.
It got worse… When a different customer said “can I get help over here” and the old troll of an employee says “no I’m helping this young lady over here.”
I turned around and said “Excuse me. I said NUMEROUS TIMES I do not need help. Now why don’t you actually go help someone who is actually asking for help.”
When a man is home with his kids while the wife is out and it’s called babysitting or watching the kids. No, that mofo helped make those kids, he’s no babysitting he’s being a father.
Having to say “no” multiple times as a single female homeowner to vendors stopping by. But when I say my “husband” handles that and he’s not here, they don’t continue their sales pitch and just leave.
I frequently don’t feel respected by sales men, like my “no, I’m not interested” carries less weight than a man’s. One of my favorite relationship moments was when a guy I had been dating asked me my opinion in the middle of a roofing sales pitch, it wasn’t even my roof we were discussing.
While looking to buy an Audi S4 (sports package), 2 sales guys said to me separately: “That’s a lot of car for you.” I did buy the car btw. Picked a different salesperson and reported the other two guys to the manager!
“i’m not really into the drama” when you’re sticking up for yourself in a kind and professional manner but assuming it’s “drama” bc you’re a woman
I helped her today…when it’s just chores that need to be done…you’re doing your job as a member of the household, not helping her
“Why are you so emotional?” When really you’re passionate and care deeply for others.
A male boss said, “Oh you’re good at this (my job.)” I agreed and said, “I hope so, I’ve been doing this for a long time.” Then he said,”well aren’t you gracious.” So when he says it, it’s okay and I’m supposed to be thankful and when I agree or reinforce that, I’m arrogant and not gracious
“You don’t know love/responsibility until you’ve had kids”
“You’re not an adult/mature until you’ve had kids”
When a colleague appologizes for cursing or discussing something vagueliy offesive. Asking forgiveness from the only woman present (you). And you are left pondering what would happen if you caved to the intrusive thoughts and staged a gasping faint..
When men will defend other men without even knowing them, just to disbelieve a woman they do know. Always explaining another man’s actions away and justifying what happens to us.
“You’re just going to have to forgive him and move on with the relationship,” after he’s been found cheating.
Is offensive to assume we’re going to vote for a presidential candidate because she’s a woman. We have brains and some of us use them to educate ourselves on the issues.
i’m tired of hearing “you’re so pretty but you gotta take that thing (my septum piercing) out of your nose, it’s not doing you any favors” if you wanna tell someone you think they’re pretty, just tell them you think they’re pretty. why insult a choice they clearly made, and one that personally i’m happy with?
Are you sure your very real physical pain isn’t it just because you’re a bit emotional right now. You must just be stressed. When was your last period?
When one of my clients (I’m an attorney) suggests I should consult with one of the “more experienced” attorneys in my firm. I am one of the most experienced attorneys in my firm, so I know they mean they want me to ask a man.
Dismissing ideas put forward by a woman, but when a man says the same thing suddenly its a good plan
“When are you going to start a family?” “Why don’t you have any kids?” “Why do you have so many kids?” “Why don’t you have more kids?” “Who’s the father?” “Where’s the father?” “Why don’t you want kids?” “Aren’t you being selfish by not having any kids?” “Aren’t you being selfish by having kids?” Leave. Our. Bodies. Alone.
Calling us “sweetheart” or “honey” when they aren’t family or our significant other…. It’s like I’m sorry but I’m not your sweetheart and we’re full grown women not little girls
You can’t have an abortion because you aren’t dying enough.
When they tell you “you’re too smart for your own good, and guys don’t like women who are smarter than them.” Or “you ask too many questions, just hush up and listen.”
According to men, women can’t be interested in anything without either being obsessed with it or knowing every single fact and detail about them, or if your interest happens to be in a musician men just interrogate you about their discography or their personal lives and if you can’t answer every single question they act like they can revoke your fanhood.
When I’m in the middle of saying something and man talks over me. So rude and tells me they do not value me
Maybe they realize it’s offensive but I hate when people on the internet say the only reason mothers work is because they are selfish and want luxury stuff, as if we are not working hard to provide for our families just like men do.
When men get offended by anything suggesting they might have a feminine trait or like they wouldn’t want to wear a pink shirt because it’s considered a girl color. As if it’s lesser just because it’s associated more often with women.
Asking a SAHM “when are you going back to work?” As if what a mom does isn’t contributing to the family..
When a man is given financial awards & accolades for just doing his job and the woman has to do 10,000 times more just to get nothing.
When men feel the need to nudge you while speaking. Like keep your hands to yourself. Thank you.
anytime i’m speaking on something im very knowledgeable and passionate about and someone feels the need to question me down to the littlest detail to “test” me or says “why, how, explain” in response to me talking. i’d go as far to say its outright misogyny.
“Atta girl” when she’s done something good as if she were a child or dog
That’s *actually* a really good idea/project/phrasing/repair/opinion. If it’s a surprise? Ouch.
When you’re talking to a male, and they say, ‘My wife handles all that’, like she’s a slave, rather than his financial superior and caring for said man-toddler
When young men assume their interest should be flattering to you, it’s really weird. They ALL say: “Age is nothing but a number.” …but I have to reply “and yet you’re too young to know what my age actually means.”
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