Retirement planners have coined the clever terms Go-Go, Slow-Go, and No-Go to describe the three distinct stages of financial planning which ease the burdens of growing older. Equally, if not more significant, these phrases succinctly describe the transition from one life stage to another.
In the financial realm, Scott Dugan, writing for Kiplinger.com advises that one’s assets should match one’s level of physical abilities and needs. The Go-Go stage can provide funds for bucket list travel, an active role with grandchildren, and in general, more spending.
Slow-Go years, in the mid 70s-80s require funds for arising health issues, downsizing, and more sedentary pursuits. The No-Go years of the mid 80s-90s with their inherent cognitive and physical decline are best served with funds reserved for assistance in daily living. As I grow older, I find that I am being “force marched” into a new stage: Slow-Go.
Stages Are for Other People… Not Me!
When I retired at the tender age of 64 ½, I was burnt out from a job that increasingly took on the portfolios of downsized employees. After a few months of a self-imposed retreat, I came storming out of the gate!
I regularly perused employment websites, just to see what was out there in the world for me. I scoured the local area for volunteer gigs, and at one point, had four regular slots each week. Also, I had a full body analysis at my gym and consistently worked out to improve all the target areas which showed up on the scan. I even created a website about the transition to retirement! But lately that youthful drive has vanished!
What Do the Experts Say?
I owe an enormous debt of gratitude to Barrie Davenport for her post on Retirely.com in which she clearly delineates the reality of those in their 60s vs. those in their 70s. She magnificently captured my feelings of a fresh start and big dreams at the beginning of retirement. In the article, Davenport highlights that feeling of having “all the time in the world” to find purpose and start new endeavors. She is correct in assuming that many new retirees are still hooked into pop culture standards, whether they involve technology, fashion, or physical pursuits.
However, my personal validation came with her insightful list of changes that gradually creep up in one’s 70s (also known as the Slow-Go stage). These have ambushed me, the former “can-do” gal!
Davenport’s list of age 70s’ revisions include many in the obvious physical category: achy joints, longer recovery time needed after exertion, and an increased number of medical appointments. Surprisingly, the following changes lead to a better quality of life: more realistic dreams, not putting things off because time is fleeting, acceptance of what is, and enjoying quality over quantity. This is a time to edit bucket lists. Personal preference, simplicity, and solitary pursuits prevail.
Also read, Why I Quit Chasing My Purpose (And You Should Too!)
The Body Is the Culprit
In my case, I don’t think I would have changed my MO if my body wasn’t sending strong signals (as well as those of my spouse and peers). It is common knowledge that cognitive processes slow down, our bones become porous, and our immune system is no longer world-class. Until very recently, my inner critic was cracking the whip with shrieks of “you can do more!”
Only through repeated episodes of “overdoing” and compassionately listening to friends’ tales of falls, lingering Covid issues, blocked arteries, and early onset Alzheimer’s have I begun the monumental task of acceptance of my decline and mortality. This results in life unfolding in a different meter. Now, everyday life is sublime. Pleasant routines and carefully curated choices in the world dominate. “No drama” intervals are valued.
The World Situation
We are living in unprecedented times, with unending wars, chaos and the disconnection of elements of government previously considered immutable, climate challenges in our own backyards, and a news cycle which needs attention too many times each day. This situation has had an enormous effect on my acceptance of willingly traveling to a new life stage. It is clear that personal struggles are simply not that important. The acceptance that modern civilization is turning in a very different, frightening direction persistently looms large.
In addition, there is a dearth of fun things to do. Restaurant meals bear no resemblance to those before the pandemic. Analog shopping is over; trips to bookstores and movies aren’t happening, and special events on the calendar are diminishing. It is not possible to live “life as usual.” Slow-Go seems to make more sense.
Confronting the Self
Ultimately, in every stage of retirement, one must confront the “self.” Travel, diversions, grandchildren, and hobbies will not take up all our waking hours. Ken Jones, a deceased Welsh Buddhist teacher who still has a thriving website offers a stark reality which must be confronted eventually. “No one who is born is free from aging and death.” However, “with age comes wisdom which we can pass on to the next generation.”
Daily spiritual pursuits every morning have propelled me to understand that there are many compensations of older age. With the right practice, one can be at ease with oneself and others. Self-preoccupations and anxiety can decrease.
What does this practice look like? It is like setting out on an adventure. In this case the adventure is the unfolding change encountered in older age. Ken Jones advises us to take note of what gives us discomfort. The idea is to look at discomfort with wonder and dispassion. “What is this new pain?” “Who is that woman in the mirror?
The advice encourages the practitioner to develop “bare awareness,” no evasions. Note all the sensations. Feel the changes deeply. Don’t seek distractions.
The reward can be the development of a strong energy, grounded in compassion for everyone who is having the same experiences, or different kinds of challenges. The prize is an appreciation for all the trials we have faced thus far, our developing self-reliance, and a sense of completion.
The poet William Blake best captures the poignancy of growing older:
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know
Through the world we safely go.
Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
Let’s Reflect:
Have you noticed passing into a different stage of life? Are you receptive to growing older or working hard to keep your same levels of vitality and relevancy?
