One of the wisest things I heard as a young woman was that “you can do it all, just not all at once.” I know this from experience. I was trying to do it all: be a professional, a mother, and an activist for social causes. With time, I learned that I could, but over many years!
Some may recall the 1968 television advertisement stating, “You’ve come a long way, baby.” This ad proclaimed that these cigarettes, “designed for a woman’s hand,” were “slimmer than a man’s fat hand.” It’s no longer fashionable to smoke, but women have come much further in the last 62 years. Women are getting college educations, excelling in all fields, from science to engineering, and playing increasingly important leadership roles.
The Women in My Family
My grandmother, born in 1887, was 31 when she gained the right to vote in Germany. Unlike many of her generation, she graduated from Oxford University but gave it up when she married. Her two sisters had careers but never married. My Great Aunt Gertrude was a nurse. She became the head nurse in the Hamburg Jewish Hospital.
My Great Aunt Lottie was a pediatrician, and she was my doctor in New York City after fleeing Hitler’s Germany. My mother graduated from college with a teaching credential. However, she stopped working to raise my sisters and me in the 50s. She returned to teaching only after we grew up, but regretted never getting a Master’s Degree.
My Journey as a Woman
In high school, I loved writing. My English teacher encouraged me and wrote on one of my pieces, “I can’t wait to see you in print.” I loved writing, but when I entered college in the early 70s, I also pursued teaching like my mom. At that time, primarily teaching, nursing, secretarial work, waitressing, and domestic jobs were open to women.
At Sonoma State University, I discovered feminism and became active in the women’s movement. We started a rape crisis center, raising awareness, providing support to victims of rape, and teaching self-defense. At that time, it was still legal for a man to rape his wife. My eyes were opened to many more things, among them domestic violence and unequal pay for women doing the same jobs as men –problems that still exist today.
Back then, I questioned whether I had landed in teaching because it was an acceptable field for women. So, I decided to travel. First, I traveled to Guatemala and collected stories from Indigenous women for a book I never finished. Then, I went to Nicaragua for three and a half years, volunteering at the Ministry of Education.
I helped obtain a grant to produce educational programs and was trained in television production. There, I met my husband, a videographer, and we produced programs about early childhood education that were aired on national television. Boldly, I announced that I planned to change my profession to film-making and television.
Doing It All, Simultaneously?
At that time, I still believed I could do it all at once. I was 30; my biological clock was ticking. Luckily, I got pregnant quickly, and soon our baby was born. We even included her in our film, Quiero Aprender Desde Ahora (I Want to Learn, Starting Now) about stimulating a young infant’s intelligence.
Eventually, my husband, baby, and a young daughter from his first marriage returned to the US. I got a job in a non-profit organization devoted to stopping US intervention in Central America. After three years of successfully building an anti-intervention movement, taking community college courses in television production, and raising two daughters, we wanted another child.
Revising My Approach
That was when I realized I could not “do it all” simultaneously. I’d need more education if I wanted to change careers. And raising three children without higher salaries would not be possible. Besides, there were not enough hours in the day!
So, I dusted off my credential and returned to teaching. I decided that I could pursue my love for film-making later. Thus, I started teaching again and eventually became a school principal and district superintendent, realizing my goals as a feminist by assuming leadership roles. I am not sorry; I loved working in education.
Over these last 40-plus years, I have been able to do all of it – in my way. I also recognized that I needed to slow down to do it right and take care of myself along the way. By the way, I don’t want to minimize the adversity that touches every life – health issues, losses, failures, and other challenges. I have had my share.
However, I did return to film-making and am proud to share a short film I produced in 2017, Our Family, a Film About Family Diversity, with thousands of views on Facebook. Ultimately, I returned to my passion for writing and have published educational books about identity safety, the idea that every student, indeed, every person, can flourish if their identities are validated. That includes supporting the rights of girls and women who want to be leaders, scientists, or other professions, breaking out of traditional roles.
Yes, we have come a long way as women, but we need young women to understand that these victories have been hard fought, and we need to stay the course. I meant to get this blog out during International Women’s Month, but getting it out in April just shows that yes, we can do it all, just not at the same time!
Also read, International Women’s Day – Does It Help the Cause?
Let’s Connect:
What are your stories as women who have grown up over the same time in history? Have you faced any struggles and how did you grow in your own right as a woman?
