Life shifts. Sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstance. And even when the change is welcome, it can bring with it a strange sense of detachment. New routines. New roles. A new rhythm to your days.
Over the years, I’ve had to rebuild my support circle more than once – after a cross-country move in my 40s, during a short-term work relocation in my 50s, and even after an overseas chapter that stretched me in ways I didn’t expect. Each time, it reminded me how unsettling – and how deeply human – it is to wonder where we belong.
If you’re currently navigating this kind of shift, you may be asking: Where do I belong now? Who are my people in this season of life? How do I build a caring friend group that champions who I am today?
These questions are deeply personal. And there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. But here’s what I’ve seen, experienced personally, and might work for you too: significant connection is always possible – and often closer than we think.
Start with What Feels Easy
Sometimes forming your support circle doesn’t equal starting from scratch. It can mean reconnecting with someone from a past chapter. Perhaps it’s a former colleague. Or maybe it’s a cousin you adore but rarely see. Then again, it could be the neighbor you wave to but haven’t had coffee with in years.
Think of one person you already know and like – start with just one. Could a simple “Thinking of you” message reopen the door? Often, that’s all it takes to pick up where you left off or start renewed friendship.
Give What You Want to Receive
Connection is reciprocal. If you’re craving encouragement, offer it. If you’re looking for laughter, share it. When you lead with generosity – a compliment, a check-in, a kind gesture – it often comes back to you in beautiful, unexpected ways. It may sound “fluffy,” but it’s not. When it’s authentic, people will feel it.
Here’s an added bonus: lifting others fosters your own sense of belonging. And frequently, the people you help will become the very ones who are there to cheer you on, too.
Follow Your Interests
Joining a group doesn’t guarantee a rapport, that’s true. But showing up in spaces that align with your interests? That creates fertile ground and opportunities to network, learn, have fun, and develop ties that will flourish.
Love books? Join a book club or library group. Curious about mindfulness? Try a local class or even a virtual one. Want to make a difference? Volunteer to promote a cause you’re passionate about and even one that can help you find your way.
Several years ago, after my sweet “tuxedo” cat passed away, I started volunteering at a local animal welfare organization. I didn’t want to adopt another pet just yet, but I missed her and wanted to fill my downtime with something positive that would benefit other animals. It helped me meet a number of kindred spirits and gave me purpose, hope… and eventually, another precious kitty of my own.
So, let your interests take the lead. You might be surprised who you meet along the way and how much richer your life will be for it.
Also read, Pet Acquisition Post-60: 4 Thoughts to Sniff Out in Advance.
Prioritize Quality Over Quantity
You don’t need a packed social calendar to feel supported and valued. In fact, one or two soul-nourishing connections can be more powerful than a “full dance card” or a dozen casual acquaintances.
Focus on finding people you feel safe and seen with. That kind of bond builds you up from the inside out. Where you come away from any encounter feeling refreshed, happy, and that they really get, like, and appreciate you.
Create Small Moments of Connection
Not every relationship starts with a lavish production or big conversation. Sometimes, it begins with a smile, a nod, or a simple gesture like, “Want to join me for a walk?”
Be open to inviting meaningful exchanges with others in tiny ways. You could, for example, text someone a favorite quote or drop off a book you think they might enjoy. You might suggest a standing coffee date, even once a month. These small moments really add up and can make a huge difference.
If You’re Feeling Uncertain
I know this might not resonate with everyone. Not all times of life are about building new relationships. And not everyone’s support circle looks the same – nor should it. (How boring would that be?!)
But if something in this speaks to you – if you’re craving community in a new stage of life – I hope you’ll give yourself permission to reach out, to explore. There’s no blueprint or grand plan to follow – you can simply start where you are.
The right group won’t just fill space in your datebook. They’ll help you feel more like yourself. We’re wired for connection, and your people are out there. Sometimes, all it takes is one small act – like a friendly wave or a quick “hello” – to change everything.
Let’s Have a Conversation
Have you formed, shifted, or expanded your support circle in this stage of life? If so, what’s one thing that helped you to feel more in sync? Share your thoughts and experiences with our community!
