Planning a birthday party can be equally exciting and nerve-racking. You get to pick out your favorite birthday cake, invite all of your friends and enjoy being the star of the show for one day. But there’s always a risk that guests will cancel at the last minute, the activities won’t be as entertaining as you had hoped and you’ll spend the evening sobbing into a pint of ice cream.
One parent recently reached out to Reddit detailing how their son’s birthday party was a huge disappointment due to the behavior of the kids and parents who attended. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as a conversation with Fiona Naughton of Dolly Dowsie.
Despite how stressful party planning can be, parents want to do everything they can to make their child’s birthday special
Image credits: Dimaberlin/Envato (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately for this parent, it wasn’t worth the hassle after guests ruined their son’s celebration by behaving badly
Image credits: seventyfourimages/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Stockphoty/Envato (not the actual photo)
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The average children’s birthday party costs over $300 nowadays
Image credits: Lan Gao/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Birthday parties are the highlight of the year for many kids. Growing up, I loved being the center of attention, and I was thrilled to be able to call the shots for one day. If I wanted to go bowling, that’s what the whole family would do! And if I wanted to eat quesadillas for dinner, I didn’t have to engage in a debate with my brothers about why they’re superior to spaghetti.
What I didn’t realize as a child, however, was just how much time and money my parents were putting into my birthday parties. According to What to Expect, children’s parties cost $314 on average nowadays. But one in five parents will shell out over $500 to celebrate their little one’s big day.
Usually, the child’s entire class isn’t included, as the average party has about 9 kids attending. And parents report that the most stressful part of the entire experience is cleaning up after. However, 22% of moms and dads say that getting guests to RSVP is a huge pain as well.
Now, birthday parties are a great way to make our children feel special, celebrate milestones, boost their self-confidence, create family traditions and allow our kids to strengthen their social bonds.
But as we’ve seen in this story, they can sadly do a lot of damage when they get derailed. In fact, this isn’t the first time a parent has reached out on social media for support after their child’s party was ruined by those in attendance.
It’s important for guests to understand birthday party etiquette before attending
Image credits: Adam Kring/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
To learn more about children’s birthday party etiquette, we reached out to Fiona Naughton of Dolly Dowsie. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss her best advice for hosting a kids’ party.
“If you have the mobile numbers of the parents whose children you’re wanting to invite to the party, it’s a good idea to add everyone to a WhatsApp group (title it *Child’s name’s* Birthday Party! or something like that) to keep all party info and invites in one place,” Fiona suggests. “Using WhatsApp, you can also see who has read your messages, just in case someone misses the initial message and you need to follow up with them.”
“I’ve done this for my sons’ birthday parties, and everyone has always RSVP’d in good time or let us know they can’t make it in advance of us paying for the party (this is appreciated as in this day and age parties and venues can be quite expensive!),” the expert says. “I always make sure to send a friendly reminder the day before the party about the arrangements too (always good to have a reminder as a busy parent!). In my sons’ school, paper invites aren’t allowed (so children won’t feel left out if not invited), so I find creating a WhatsApp group just for the parents is the best option.”
We also asked what guests should know before attending a child’s birthday party. “I think it’s important to bring a gift and or/card, but only gift what you can afford,” Fiona says. “In my eldest son’s class, it was agreed by all us parents (we have a WhatsApp group for each class that all parents are added to), that €5 was going to be the amount we were gifting in cards for birthdays. It meant that the birthday child received a gift, but it wasn’t too much of a burden for anyone.”
“I think it’s always important to drop and collect your child in time for a party (obviously things can happen that can delay you from time to time) and to say thank you when collecting your child or by sending a polite message to the parent of the birthday child after the event,” the expert added. “A thank you is always appreciated!”
“The day is about a child who just wants to celebrate and have fun with their friends; so leave the drama at home!”
So what are parents to do if children are acting inappropriately at their child’s party? “I think it’s important to set out in the initial birthday invite just who is invited to the party,” Fiona recommends. “For example, writing *child’s name* would like to invite the boys/the girls/everyone from their class to their party at such and such a time, at such and such a date. If you could RSVP to let me know if your child can make it that would be great!”
“If you need to, insist in the initial message that it is just for the children invited, and unfortunately siblings, cousins and the rest of the family can’t be accommodated,” she continued. “Also, make sure to let the parents know that they can drop their child and come back from them later. I think if this isn’t known beforehand, you could have parents hanging around with their other children, as they didn’t know they could leave their child at the party and return later and may not have childcare for the other children, etc. Keep it polite, but make the boundary.”
And if guests start behaving badly, Fiona says it’s best to pull them aside on their own to ask them to stop. “You don’t need to be unfriendly, but speaking in a firm way and letting them know by your tone that what they’re doing isn’t appreciated works best I think,” she shared.
Finally, the mother added, “In my 12 years of parenting, I’ve learned that when it comes to children’s birthday parties, something that should be an enjoyable experience can often be quite stressful for the parent(s) organizing. So make sure to be polite and give common courtesy by RSVPing on time, attending the party on time and remembering that the day is about a child who just wants to celebrate and have fun with their friends. So leave the drama at home!”
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation below, pandas. Have you ever thrown or attended a birthday party where guests behaved like this? Feel free to weigh in, and then, you can check out another Bored Panda article discussing birthday party drama right here.
Readers agreed that the guests displayed terrible behavior, and the parent joined in on the conversation to share more details
Some even shared similar stories of their own and advice for the parent’s next party
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